Something that has been making me go hmm…
Posted by littlesubbieboy on February 15, 2008
Those of you who have been reading my blog may have noticed, that back on the post entitled “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly”, MrsKeeper decided to leave me a comment (Thanks Honey!). In it she mentioned that this time around she had been giving some thought to fantasies she has had regarding us in a Master / slave relationship.For those of you who don’t know, this is kind of the deepest one can go in BDSM culture. An M/s relationship (IMHO) is one of those know what you are getting yourself into situations. In fact, it is so deep / committed / significant to me, I have NEVER even given thought or consideration to it in the 15 years I have been into BDSM, never.So to even be thinking in this realm is new territory for me – scary territory – but oddly enough once I get past the incredible hotness of the idea and the intense fear of giving up every bit of control, I am left trying to get my head wrapped around just what we are talking about.
We have both been in the public BDSM scene for many years, and both of us know, personally, several long term M/S couples. I understand the philosophy of the M/S relationship. The concept that one no longer has a “safe word” to code out a scene. That is my understanding of one of the main differences between a D/s and a M/s relationship; however, when I try to think in a more mundane, day to day manner of what would be different – I draw a blank. Its kind of embarrassing. But then again, it is something, for me at least, that has been something “other people” do. I really mean it when I say I have never ever thought about getting into this with someone. Now, it fills my thoughts – and I have to say the thoughts intrigue me and turn me on.
Through this short time of exploration, I have figured out that some of my deepest fantasies can actually, when aggregated, be seen as a desire for an owner, to be seen as property.
e.g.: One of my fantasies is to be a sex toy to my Dominant. To be something which you pull out of the closet, strap to the bed, feed the little blue pill to (yes I’m talking about Viagra) and use to their heart’s content and then leave to go do something else, putting me up when they feel like it. In the same genre, same setting, I am the “party favor”. Blind folded, and in a side room strapped as before and available to use as the guests see fit. Want to see what it is like fucking someone with a strapon – use the toy. Want to try out his trained tongue, have a seat. Want to try pissing on someone – pull out the plastic and have at it. Don’t worry about it – it doesn’t have a say, nor do we care even if it did.You get the idea – these are hot fantasies to me. Granted getting used by a room full of people is the fantasy of many people – but when I examine my motivation behind it – I find this deep desire to be owned, to be property, to be inconsequential to the decision making process of what I am used for.
This requires an incredible amount of trust – and it is for this reason, why I have not even contemplated this kind of commitment with anyone before. It is also why I feel it is the deepest one can go, relationship-wise, in BDSM.
We are discussing the idea right now. Both of us are very aware that it has only been a month and a half since we switched, and are focusing more on ironing out the details of our D/s relationship first – perhaps even making it more permanent with a collar or even a collaring ceremony. MrsKeeper has hinted here and there, but nothing definite yet.As time goes on and both of us talk to people we know in this kind of relationship, I think our perspectives will certainly sharpen, and I look forward to posting here the details as things develop.
I am certainly interested in what my readership on this blog has to say – what is your understanding of the difference between Dominant / submissive vs. Master / slave?
